Wherein a Mexican Ponders If Disney Really REALLY Loves Bears

(MINOR SPOILERS)

So there's this movie out, and it's called Brave.  You might have heard of it, and it was made by this little company named Pixar, which has churned out a few good movies.  It's also got backing by some company named Disney that seems to be kind of big on the animation business.  I mean, I think they're pretty big, there was some kind of fuss in regards to how big this movie was gonna be.

Not pictured: Nicky Cage's Sanity.

Brave, originally titled 'The Bear and The Bow' (Changed due to a number of reasons, but I'll get to that) during development, is Pixar's 13th animated feature, and much like any (every) Pixar film to date, it's gotten a lot of hype.  For starters, it's got a female lead, and it's Pixar's first foray into the fantasy genre.  Pixar was also forced to completely overhaul their animation software.  For a frame of reference, this hasn't been done in 25 YEARS, so that's saying something.  I got the chance to see this movie due to the good graces of a buddy of mine, who as of this writing I'm allowing to be made his bitch for taking me along for the ride.  As a plus, the movie was apparently also being part of a test run of Dolby's new Atmos system, which is currently only being used in 14 theaters in North America, and Burbank's AMC 16 was one of them.  I was understandably excited about this, as detailed in my Twitter account before the show (which you bastards should totally be following right now, if you're not already.  Shame on you if you're not.)

I have a personal bias towards Pixar, in that I'm of the mindset that even their weaker movies such as Cars and A Bug's Life, tend to be a great watch, and always in some way or another find a way to tug at the heartstrings.  The only one, and this is pretty much a universal truth, is the abysmal failure that was Cars 2, which to date has a dismal 38% on Rotten Tomatoes.  Still, we can't begrudge a phenomenal studio for cranking out one dud (well, we totally could, but we won't.  Well I won't, you can if you want to.  You ass.), especially when you look at their impressive line up of films.  The Incredibles is still my favorite of the bunch, only barely edging out Toy Story 3 on the merit that it appeals to my inner geek on every level.  That and the Hundred Mile Dash segment which still gives me a nerdgasm every time I watch it.  Toy Story 3 made me sob near the end though, a feat that has only been duplicated by The Lion King, ALSO done by Disney by some strange coincidence.  If you're guessing it's when the ever manly James Earl Jones falls and dies, and a furry, diminutive Johnathan Taylor Thomas try to wake up him?  Yup.  Right there.  27 years old and I still cry like a teenage prom date just after her first kiss from her manly, sexually adept boyfriend that night at that scene.

EVERY.  FUCKING.  TIME.

Pixar/Disney has always had the uncanny ability to play my heartstrings like a master harpist, Pixar in particular.  Their motto has been 'Story first' for the longest time, and even their shorts have made me pause to reflect on certain aspects of my emotional state, cracking off the crust of my horrendously calloused soul in little chunks.

Very small chunks.

I don't want to give away a lot of story points for the movie, for a number of reasons.  I'll start with the obvious:  Go see this movie.  I do recommend going to see it in theaters, and I take a very economical stance on my movie viewings.  If I had to pay for the ticket, I would still gladly do so.  Brave manages to hit a lot of strong points:  A strong story with compelling characters, beautiful; nay, GORGEOUS environments, and a soundtrack that is highly evocative of the Irish highlands.  At least I think it's Irish.  God I hope it's Irish, last thing I need is to sound racist on this blog of mine.

...Oh right.  I'm already one foot in the grave on that one.  FUCK IT, it's established.  Though Billy Connely and Craig Ferguson's presence in the film leads me to believe it's Scottish.  HELP.

I read somewhere that it took Pixar a nightmarish three years to develop the engine/software/rendering process/voodoo that was used for Merida's hair.  And it shows.  That one detail alone shows how committed the animation team was to the project.  Don't believe me?  Allow me to show you a sample.

Now, I really want you to LOOK at these images.  Really soak them in.  Just about every single strand of her hair is rendered with such painstaking detail it's nothing short of gorgeous.  And these are just minor GIFS.  If you've got a raging hard on for painstaking details (like I tend to) you'll understand how this is nothing short of an animation miracle.  The software was used to translate into other aspects of the movie, so really, it's pretty damn ground breaking.

That being said, Brave, for all it's amazing technological contributions to the world of computer animation, does leave me with some minor gears to grind.  Firstly, and I'm putting this out there because it really is pretty astonishing...  But what's Disney's deal with transformation?  I know that Pixar has been granted a large amount of autonomy from Disney (for good reason), but I can't help but think that some of their influence has bled over into Pixar's collective creative genius.

In Brave, one of the characters is transformed into a bear, which also happened in (duh) Disney's Brother Bear.  Jafar transformed from a human into a snake.  Ariel underwent 2, maybe 3 transformations in The Little Mermaid, Prince Naveen in The Princess and the Frog, and if we're including all the shrinking/growing that Alice in Wonderland did...

Is there something you're not telling us Disney?  There was pretty important attention paid to how pliant you made the bear butt behave.  Don't believe me?  Here's a partial video of just a small portion of the chicanery that Disney's animator's have gotten up to.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing, god knows that even animators have their vices, and hell, even a means to make them a reality.  It's just that knowing what I know now about the internet and people in general?  Well, let's just say that while I do admire (and am quite awestruck at the mind bending detail of it all) of these sequences in their own way, it's not hard to take that step into strange and head-tiltingly interesting sights.

My other issue is that for all it's glamour, Brave felt slightly incomplete, like there could have been more that could have been done with it.  Merida's role as the badass princess that'd make Joss Whedon blush was well established, and archery has always been a passion of mine that I wish I could follow through on.  Actually, pretty much all of the characters I felt were well enough defined for what they were.  Even the Gaellic jabbering son was likable in his own way, which is is kind of a shame because they weren't used enough I think.  There was mention of a curse, and how it'd tear apart the kingdom, but there was no real focus on that.  Hell the 'villain' could qualify more as a force of nature then an actual threat, though both are still deadly enough.

Still, I nitpick.  It's Pixar's first foray into the fantasy genre, and they do a competent job of it.  It's less of a story of grand adventure, and more of a tale of personal growth and advancement.  And I can appreciate that.  There's a central theme of 'facing one's fate' and taking command of it, and that resonates with everyone on some level.  That and learning to accept and embrace the things that your parents wish for you, and vice versa.  Coming from a somewhat caliginous relationship with one of my own parents, this struck a chord with me when Merida and her mother have their first real argument, one that really shows how bad things can get when you don't let yourself really communicate what NEEDS to be said.  The two of them could really have used Henry Kissinger to delegate at that point.

Delegate.  Negotiator. Balls deep in poontang.

The final prognosis is hard to rationalize.  On the one hand, Brave is story with a lot of heart and soul, gorgeous animation and enviroments, strong compelling characters, and a soundtrack to die for.  On the other hand, it's a story of familial discord and lessons that must be learned that's been seen a number of times before.  My initial judgement was a bit harsher than it is now, with the thought that it's one of Pixar's weaker movies.  Not a bad thing, unless we're talking the ass grenade that was Cars 2.  But  I left with the impression that Pixar was trawling the storyline bin a bit too liberally and went with something a bit -too- cookie cutter.  My stance has softened a bit since then, and I could enjoy the film again if I watched it, but it's still a somewhat egregious offender for storyline cropping.

Did I have a good time though?  Yes, I did, and I suppose that's what matters.  There aren't many movies I go to see in theaters (my last theater outing being Avengers which still gives me sexy shivers when I think about it.  I'm pretty sure the movie ravished me five ways from Sunday), so I prefer to see movies that are of exceptional quality.  If I could, I'd see Brave again, only this time WITHOUT the 3D gimmick.  I still get headaches watching movies in this stupid ass 3D shtick, and it's wholly unnecessary.  The colors were washed out and grainy, and there wasn't really anything that I felt NEEDED to pop out at me during the course of the film.  I was this close to tromping up to the projection booth and bitch slapping the attendant to put it in normal view, sans bullshit 3D.  I had this same discussion with my buddy Brandon in regards to Tintin, and we were pretty much in agreement:  STOP THIS HORSESHIT.

These are all minor complaints, if that even, and should be taken with a grain of salt.  You should still go see the movie, and expect the same level of quality and entertainment that Pixar has (mostly) provided with their films.  Plus, there was a rather lovely cosplayer for Merida who made a little girl dance about and giggle with joy at the sight.  And really, isn't that what this kind of thing is all about?  Making people smile and laugh, letting them forget about their troubles, making the fantastic real, if only for that fleeting moment?

Pictured: UNBRIDLED JOY.  Apparently she Tweets as well.

Sam Fernandez will be doing this writing bullshit at Cracked for a meager living soon, and he also has a Twitter that he posts highly irascible statements on.  He's also got a Tumblr that he has NO idea what to do with.  You should totally follow his escapades into faux journalism so you can be there to experience copious amounts of mirth.

Wherein a Mexican Punches The Devil In The Face

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

That's out of the way, I figure I might as well post that before some zealous advocate of video game story writing decides to put my head on a pike.  Unlikely for various reasons, but I like to cover my ass all the same.

About 4 months or so ago, I borrowed my brother-in-law's copy of Castlevania: Lords of Shadow because, you know, I live with them and it's significantly cheaper then buying or even renting my own copy.  I'm poor, my options are limited.  I'd been wanting to try the game out for a while, and I had...  minimal hopes for the game.  Plus, Patrick Stewart.

You're now reading this in his voice.

So, I popped in the game, booted it up, and was greeted by the standard credits spiel.  Also was assaulted by the 'KOJIMA PRODUCTIONS' icon, but I shrugged that aside, having been made painfully aware of this fact some time ago by rabid fanboys and the internet in general.  The two terms are mutually inclusive, I know.  Regardless, I started up a new game, serenaded by the sensual tone's of Sir Patrick Stewart's monumentally comforting voice and after few cutscenes, I find myself in control of Gabriel Belmont, wielder of the Vampire Killer!

Only he's not really a Belmont, it's just a name he chose when he was adopted by the Order.

And it's not really the Vampire Killer, it's the Combat Cross.  But that's okay, because we're still freely exploring the environment oh it's stage based gameplay okay.

Oh, and it's an action title, I remembered that much, so let's see how unique you play oh right it's just God of War with gothic elements.

....You know, I liked God of War as much as the next guy, and it really was a fun game.  I enjoyed it immensely, and you know, as much as it's contributed to the action genre of gaming, it's done that much more to ruin it.  Snappy, responsive controls keep Castlevania from getting frustrating, and the camera, while fixed, does a mostly competent job of staying centered on the action, though the often small hallways and environments tend to do really hinder the action and clutter the combat.  Combat itself is fairly interesting, deviating from GoW's Light/Strong attack paradigm and more on Single/Area attacks.  This is actually fairly interesting on paper, since you could forego heavy strikes in favor of keeping enemies away to stay alive to inflict more pain...  But your area attacks, even the more advanced ones you get, are severely underwhelming, and you'll end up spamming the same moves over and over again.  This gets alleviated a bit since there's little to no delay in your strikes, so it's less of an annoyance, but it's still irritating when you've burnt 6000 Experience Points on an area clearing super finisher that gets overshadowed by it's simpler, less time consuming Chain Shield.

Defense is standard fair, hold L to defend and use it at just the right moment to parry and create openings.  This'd be great and awesome if you didn't accidentally roll out of the damn way whenever you block and face an enemy.  Forgoing GoW's right stick dodge for some silly ass reason, despite NEVER using the right stick at all in game, it's a really clumsy mechanic, and it harms the player more than helps.  My real beef though, and this is just me being a pedantic asshole I think, is the ever present Quick Time Events that rear their ugly heads like some hellish hydra of mediocrity.

"Argh!  This shitty metaphor tastes like pain!"

I know that gaming technology has become a lot more sophisticated from the 16 bit scrollers of yesteryear, and as such, production and even shock values have risen appropriately with them.  God of War managed to  make itself relevant and even game changing though with Quick Time Events that were short, easy, and were fun to pull off (smashing an oracle's face into a book lolololol)  Also yes, I'm aware the Shenmue was the first one to technically do this, but let's face it, Shenmue was less than stellar in that and many respects.  The mechanic was done in God of War competently, and while still present in Castlevania, it's clunky, uninspired, and frankly cumbersome, and the scenes that it's used for belong in Devil May Cry, which doesn't use QTE oddly enough.  For example, one scene involves you grappling up a giant collossus (sorta awesome) breaking it apart bit by bit (still awesome) only to culminate in getting to the top, swinging out...!

And grabbing a crystal thrown at you by the mute psychic girl down below to stab into it's face.

It should be mentioned that most of climbing up the boss is done in QTE, so it doesn't really carry much of the grand and sweeping nature that most Colossi slaying should carry.  As a point of order, and as Yahtzee has mentioned in his own review of the game, the game seems heavily derivative of other games, but doesn't really manage to pull off any of them with a particular bit of flair.

Still, their were some amazing portions of the game that I genuinely enjoyed.  The environments made my jaw drop, and for good reason.  The production sketches (which you can also unlock for relatively cheap) show some painstaking work on the areas, enemies and even scenes, which I just found myself staring at in artistic bliss.  While the actual castle of legend itself is only referenced in passing, the castle stage was the most intricately designed place I'd seen in a game to date, and you could tell that even though the designers may not have had fun with the design work, there was a lot of love and care put into it.

Which staggers me as to why the last area of the game seemed so phoned in.  This isn't me being a stickler, because yes, I'm aware that there is a LOT of work and planning that goes into a single level in any game, and I've had designer friends make this argument to me; I'm aware of all this.  The Valley of the Dead, or whatever it was, is a particularly egregious example of cutting corners.  The game's Lords of Shadow are the meat and bones of the bosses you fight, and there are three of them.  The Lycan Lord, the Vampire Lord, and The Necromancer Lord.  You fight two of them, and their areas are phenomenally designed.  Once you get to the Land of the Dead though, it becomes, appropriately, a barren wasteland devoid of life...  and that's about it.  You don't even get to fight Death, which is unheard of in a Castlevania game!  And his design is so fucking generic and simple in the cutscene you see him in that it just screams COP OUT from all sides.  I felt like I was being menaced by a fucking sock puppet!

He babbles in tongues and the language of the damned.

And the highly anticipated final fight just left me confused and bewildered.  The big bad (who you WILL see coming from a mile away if you're up on video game betrayals and characters) comes out of fucking nowhere, and suddenly you find yourself fighting SATAN.  Not even Dracula, not even the true Belmont or whatever, no.  You're pitted against Satan.  Who was rallying to fight against God because he was a fallen angel, or his son?  Shit, I don't know, the whole thing just crumbled like a Jenga tower made from matzoh.  Anyways, you punch Satan in the dick in a very animu style because hey, it's Satan.  Some kind of rhetoric about mankind, forgiveness, and being granted your own fate, yadda yadda, and then ending.

Oh, and apparently the stinger (which lasted a good ten minutes) reveals that Zobek is still around, he's younger now, and that Gabriel has become Dracula.  Oh, and they're supposed to fight Satan again.

I'm not going to bother with a quote beneath that one because I was too fucking dumbstruck by this revelation.  And you're supposed to be playing as Alucard in the next game if what my sister tells me is accurate.  (She got to go to E3.  I didn't.  Go figure.)

I could go into an angry tirade against the direction the series has gone, and that Kojima should stick to Metal Gear or whatever, but it's getting late and I have to fulfill the quota of my presence to the people in my life, lest I become some kind of fetid social vagrant or hobo.  The bottom line is that games should make you feel like something was achieved, and they give you a sense of accomplishment upon completion.  CV: LOS just left me uncomfortably numb after I was done with it, and made me want to demand my time back.  All (cumulative) ten hours of it.  Seriously, the game, for what it was worth at the time, is heinously short.

Wherein A Mexican Blows Out His Left Eardrum

So I know I was supposed to have the second part of my Avenue Q review up, but I got slightly more than sidetracked. Delivering pizza is, much to my chagrin, something of a time-consuming job, and I've been making more of an attempt to introduce order into the seething chaos that is my life. Part of this involves going out more to eliminate whatever cabin fever I may contract. And I do come down with the sickness at times, to the point where I feel like I have to pull out my teeth if I'm positioned in front of the computer at any given time during the time I come down with these maladies.

I'd prefer not to though. I happen to like my teeth. So where am I going with this you might ask? Well, some time ago, about 8 months or so, I went to go see chiptune supergroup Anamanaguchi. I still can't figure out if their name means anything, but the way I see it, it's not really worth fretting over. They make some great music, that's really all that matters to me in my book. I don't really want to do another review of their music because A) Extolling their amazingness again would simply cheapen the result, and B) I don't like repeating myself. So I'll simply fill this space with the effect their music has on people.

Anamanaguchi is comprised of 4 members: lead songwriter Peter Berkman, bassist James DeVito, guitarist Ary Warnaar and drummer Luke Silas, each of them making one part of a wonderful whole. That's really not the full story on them obviously, but really there's nothing I can't say about them factwise that Wikipedia can't say a whole buttload more informatively. What I'm driving at is the fact that they can actually command the attention, respect, and above all admiration of a stuffy room full of nerds and geeks that could probably have stayed home with a bag of chips and some salsa, sat back and played Dead Space 2 or something for the night.

Okay, to that was me. In any case, I have to tell you, it really is a sight. Imagine if you will, four young men, crowded into the corner of a stuffy basement, with close to a hundred or so bodies peering at them from the shadows. The music starts, true to their style, fast and furious, and all apprehension just melts away like butter in a skillet, engrossing the listener, tickling their eardrums and hotwiring their brains with a jolt of pure spirit and vitality in the form of song. And this is just as an 8-bit tribute!

It's interesting to go to a small private show like this, and I mean this in all sincerity. As much as you want to watch the performers, watch the audience for a few minutes during the set. See hoe many people are looking around and swaying (even if it's badly in time) to the music, invoking unspoken rituals of oath, swearing a kind of fealty to the band. It's all true, and I don't use it as a negative example, far from it. The mob dances and sways to the beat, doled out by the band in generous lumps, never allowing their subjects to go hungry for the music. This is important, because in my eyes and my friend who I'd shanghai'd into accompanying me to the show tonight, this is what marks a band as a band, and not simply an entity of misfortune and musical whoreism. Anamanaguchi is, in this humble mexican's opinion, the very defintion of what a band is.

They possess spirit, a certain undeniable quality of lightheartedness and joy that is simply infectious when in their presence. They radiate it, and much like our life giving sun, we turn to them when they're in the room; a certain level of gravitas rightfully owed. They have personality. Talking to each of the bandmembers, you get the distinct feeling that each one of them is their own man, and yet they work as an amazing unit. They have, and this is the most important factor in an artist I feel, moreso than talent or skill with an instrument... Heart.

Not to be confused with their radiant spirit, the heart of the band is... inconceivably huge. I noticed that they took the time to talk with every fan that came up to them, and in a room that small packed so tightly after the show was over, this was no small feat. They signed autographs gladly, shot the shit with some folks, took pictures and even gave hugs of gratitude. This was nothing short of amazing, and you know why?

IT SHOWS THAT THEY'RE PEOPLE.

They're human, just like you and me, and despite their rapidly approaching fame and fortune which they truly truly deserve, they stay humble and grateful to their fans, and they deserve all the praise and success they've been having. I wish I could say more, but I'm rapidly passing out. So I leave off with a bit of advice for the casual reader of this article.

See them. As soon as you can. Because these young men are wielders of an exceptionally powerful magic. They weave their power into music, trapping and bewitching young minds, and you wouldn't want it any other way. It feels natural (odd, considering their music is all developed by a hacked NES or two) to love their music, because it is, for all intents and purposes, Happiness distilled. You do yourself an indredible, INCREDIBLE disservice by not going to see them.

I've gone twice thus far when they've visited Meltdown Comics and did I regret going, despite having to leave my comfort zone? No, Not at all.

Keep up the amazing work guys, know that you've got yourself a fan in a mexican, right here.

-Videos to follow in the morning-

Wherein A Mexican Visits Avenue Q

So, at the risk of sounding totally camp, I love musicals. It's a combination of things really, be it the production values or lack thereof, making it absolutely charming in it's simplicity, the venue itself and the grandeur they possess, or the wonderful music that they might have. Toe-tapping isn't the word I'd use. If a musical's described as being a 'toe-tapping good time', it is something of a testament to fail really. I'm dubious of a lot of them though. As of this typing, their is actually a musical for Shrek, and the whole thing is reminiscent of the Wiggles as performed by Billy Connelly and a gimp in a fursuit.

Lady Gaga had a weekend free.

I'm no musical buff, I'm rather shamed to admit. I know enough in regards to certain names that were extremely influential to the scene, in particular Busby Berkeley and his obscenely detailed and grand displays, but aside from that I'm kind of clueless. That doesn't mean I don't have an appreciation for it though. Ty top three musicals are Little Shop of Horrors, The Producers, and South Park: The Movie. Yes, South Park was in fact a musical and Matt and Trey have cleared up the misconception that it wasn't. The Producers a lot of people didn't like, but I didn't have a major problem with it. I might be biased though, being a rather fervent fan and supporter of anything Mel Brooks related. As for Little Shop, Levy Stubbs' voice was one of a kind, and filling in for a giant foul-mouthed man-eating plant was just too awesome beyond words. Though a bit of wind gets taken out of his sails when you compare Audrey 2's voice to that of Mother Brain from the utterly mind-blowing terribleness that was Captain N: The Game Master.

Show me the fear in your eyes!

I'm happy to include Avenue Q in this growing list, having waited close to 6 years to see it. I'd wanted to go see it in Vegas during my last trip out there, but I was sorely lacking in bread. That and it was during my sister's birthday, so breaking off to go out and do my own thing could have been considered something of a faux pas. Plus I didn't have the stuff that you use to actually do things that are worthwhile. Money, that's the ticket. So I treated myself on my birthday, something I never have the chance to do, and went to go see Avenue Q at the Pantages! To say I was giddy with excitement was a vast understatement.

The Pantages is right on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and it really is quite wonderful to walk down and look at the Stars. On a much more ridiculous note, not but three blocks away from The Pantages is a High Church of Scientology, with an exhibit on the life of L.Ron Hubbard.

Puppets on rocket beds, and Lord Xenu's madness, all on the same street. Only in California folks. Only in California.

So, what's Avenue Q about, and why is it so popular? Well, it's a musical play done in a sort of slice of life fashion, following the trials and tribulations of Princeton, a grad student fresh out of college, having earned his BA in English. Unable to find an affordable place to live in New York, he walks through town until he gets to the titular Avenue Q having worked his way down from Avenue A and even Hell's Kitchen. The rent is cheap, and his neighbors, while exceptionally odd, are nice enough, and he rents out an apartment there. His neighbors include Brian (an out of work comedian), his fiancee Christmas Eve, (a Japanese immigrant with two Master's Degree's in Social Work and Therapy but is unable to get any clients); Rod and Nicky, who share an apartment (but one of them is an extremely closeted homosexual), Kate Monster, a lovable kindergarten teacher's aid with a gigantic heart (but she can't seem to find a boyfriend), and Trekkie Monster (a shameless porn addict).

Oh, and the Superintendent is Gary Coleman. (Who made a lot of money that got stolen by his folks.)

Plus they're all puppets, with exception to Brian, Christmas, and Gary.

It sucks to be you!

Sure it sounds utterly bizarre, but really this only scratches the surface of the delightful cauldron of madness.

-Part 2 to follow-

Wherein a Mexican Becomes Philip J. Fry

Personally, I would have liked to become Stephen Fry, or at least some kind of latin equivalent. Or at the least, been sent 1000 years into the future. TO THE WOOOOORLD OF TOMORROOOOOW! Not gonna happen though, so I'm stuck in my new profession of delivering pizzas. Now here's the kicker. I'm a trained dental assistant. 4.0 GPA, President's List for the trade school I was at, never missed a day. (Well save for one, but I even the dean admitted that being arrested makes for a compelling case to excuse one day, and I did make up for it) And despite my knowledge, what I know, what I can do... I still can't find a damn job as a dental assistant.

I really wish there was someone I could complain to about this. I really hate to make this sound like some tired little diatribe of my own life, that's not what I want this blog to be about, but goddammit our country isn't really doing any better. I'm the only guy in my graduating class that doesn't seem to have landed a position, and it's not for lack of trying, believe me. I've tapped out the entire valley and it just seems to me that I'm getting nothing. Hell, I might have better luck just going to another country and trying there as opposed to the nonsense that California is stuck in. Hell, at this rate the whole damn state is going to be just hacked off from the rest of the Union like a gangrenous limb, much like Escape From LA.

In any case, your Resident Mexican is delivering pizzas for 8 bucks an hour. Plus tip! Yaaaay. Here's hoping something crops up, I did get word that a full time temp position is opening up in December, so I just need to hold on I suppose.

Wherein a Mexican Encounters the Harold of Galactus

I love improv. I really do. I mean, I'm terrible at it yes, but that doesn't detract from my appreciation of the art. It takes a very limber and flexible mind to do improv, and above all do it well. Technically the hobo yelling obscenities and waving his pecker at you while being picked up by the local law enforcement brigade is doing improv. Improv that'll get him beaten even more senseless in the pen, but improv nonetheless.

I recently graduated from my career college with honors (I know. A mexican succeeding? Shocking!), and as a sort of present, a friend of mine treated me to a day out. Lunch, that sort of thing out in Little Tokyo, and after futzing about for the day we trooped on out to another part of LA just off of Melrose, near Paramount Studios of all places, to a little comedy club called 'Comedy Sportz'.

Now, I haven't been to a lot of clubs, on principal mostly, but there was something very inviting about this one. For starters, the patio was set up like my cousin's backyard in downtown, and the concession stand was in a garage. Both of course, remodeled and with heating lamps, but a garage and backyard nonetheless. I really liked it actually, it made it feel more at home and cozier, at least with me, and it was nice to just sit back and chit-chat before the show started.

I think a bit of explanation is in order. A few months ago I went to their first show at Brave New World Comics in Valencia, featuring Mark Meer, also known to most folks as Commander Shepherd. The Harold of Galactus is an improv group, performing an improvised comic series, comprising of an omnibus of sorts, including their origin, their nemesis, moments in their superhero career, and even their tales as written by Frank Miller. (WHORESWHORESWHORESWHORESWHORES) Now bear in mind that it's all made up pretty much on the spot with minimal opinions and thoughts thrown about, enough to get the groundwork settled. It's immensely difficult to describe the entire segment, but really, when Doctor Destiny, Master of Space and Time, is thrust into battle against Baron Boom and his Blampires...

Well, it's a special kind of full-bore magic and lunacy that you can't even find in a fever dream. The first part of the act always consists of an improvised comic book, with the second being something different each time. An improvised video game, a zombie survival movie, a D&D session, there's really no end to the geekiness. THACO not-withstanding, I was unaware you could backstab a Gelatinous Cube, or even backstab a dragon in the uvula. Goddamn rogues.

There really is a special kind of magic to the whole show, and I have to give a shout out to you guys for being so willing to go out on stage and just let it all hang out. Figuratively speaking of course. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out on stage, and everyone that does it really does deserve more respect then they're given, because while any one of us could go out there, we couldn't do it with nearly as much aplomb. There's a spark to you all, something that stokes the fires of joy and happiness within us, and while it may be just for one night, even for an hour or two, you still bring a smile to this little mexican's face. Thanks guys, you all deserve a cold one on me.

Whenever I get money of course.

I highly recommend anyone in the greater Los Angeles area go out and see these guys. They're going to be in town until the 25th, performing every Saturday, two shows a night. Tickets are only five bucks a pop, and really, what were you going to do on a Saturday night anyways?

Special mentions for perfomances thus far:

Mark Meer as A Kobold and a Dragon's Face
Chris Tallman as Doctor Destiny
Matt Young and Ryan Smith as Giant Jellyfish Creatures / Chang
Josh Dean as The Rogue and Tai Phoon/Sue Nami
Jenny Flack as The Shark II

I swear, I could NOT make any of this up guys.

Official information:

ComedySportz L.A.

733 N Seward St

Los Angeles, CA

Mapquest is your friend here, it's not too hard to find really. Parking might be a little scarce, but if you show up early enough it shouldn't be a problem. Come early and just hang out, there's a foozball table! FOOZBALL! And we're having such lovely evenings, especially after this hellish heatwave we've been having. Be sure to bring a jacket, LA can get kind of chilly at night.

Wherein a Mexican Sees The Magic That is Anamanaguchi

I'd known my favorite chiptune band was going to be in town for a little over a week, and I'd made plans to try and go see them. My sister was my partner in crime tonight, charming little beast that she is, and after spending a bit of time at Little Tokyo today (Orochan Ramen nearly killed me. And yet it's deliciousness was AMAZING) we traipsed on over to Meltdown Comics over on Sunset. I'm kind of disappointed in myself honestly, I've been in California, not but half an hour from LA and I hardly ever even go out there to see what's what. I'm a failure of a Californian.

Then again the two terms tend to be mutually exclusive. But I digress.

Meltdown Comics was, I should say, freaking HUGE. Seriously, you could put my house quite comfortably inside of it. Possibly two. In any case, we checked in and got out purple wristbands signifying that we did indeed have a right to be there, and after a bit of waiting (and having a bathroom briefly hijacked by someone else) we we let into the venue, which was, in fact, the gallery for the comic shop. More or less it was a basement which permitted the entire audience to be packed in like sardines. And that was pretty much the case by the time we all filed in.

The stage, for lack of a better term since it was pretty much just a corner of the room, had a whole bunch of equipment set up. Mixers, a guitar, a few amps and a soundboard... And two Nintendo Entertainment Systems and a Gameboy. Unorthodox, yes, and supremely bizarre. The fact that one of the NES's was blue and pink with 'Anamanaguchi' on the side did nothing to stave off the oddness. Awesome yes, but odd nonetheless.

D/A/D was on first, and I gotta say, for a one man show, the man certainly knew how to impress. Quite honestly, I was entranced, spellbound even by his performance. In my opinion, he was clearly loving every moment of it, and who could blame him? His music was captivating, had a rhythm that sunk right into your bones and pulled them like a puppeteer, and I could close my eyes at any given time during the performance and just let the music take me away. The guy had some serious chops; playing guitar, two keyboards, AND mixing through his laptop. The deserves a fucking medal for everything he did, seriously.

D/A/D left the audience in high spirits, and ready for the main event. Not that I'm discounting the man, far from it, but the band was on the header for the website for a reason. After a bit of warming up and tuning, the crowd was ready to rock One forward thinking individual had even crafted a pixelated Scott Pilgrim head and was holding it up in reverence of the band. It was a sweet gesture, and honestly it warmed my heart cockles to see Pete accept the gift from the fan. You really don't see that kind of thing in big time concerts, and it's part of the reason why I like smaller, private shows better. It shows that the band really does care for the fans, and there's just so much more interaction between fans and artists that can't be found anywhere else.

Now, I can't really elaborate on the show too much, though the videos that I'll be posting to my Youtube can do much better, including a couple of piss poor teasers from the show itself. I will say this though. Despite the fact that it stank like Swedish chocolate (for some truly odd reason), despite the fact that everyone was sweating like mad and there wasn't a dry back in the house, despite the crowded conditions... I wouldn't have changed a thing about any of it.

It's all part of the scene really. There's just a certain energy that can only be found in these types of performances, a kind of electricity that's almost palpable. It jumps from person to person, fizzing and crackling as it hotwires your spine, hijacking your senses and flipping off the policeman as it takes your brain for a joyride. You find yourself stomping and hooting, hollering and headbanging, jumping and jiving for sheer joy as the music takes control. Something primal and wild wells up inside you, and in those conditions, all those people around you just stirs the pot even more. A primal sense of community develops, where the whole tribe gathers around the fire to listen and celebrate something ancient and incredible that we can only hope to reach in some distant way.

I could be romanticizing the whole thing, but I like to think that there's some truth in my words. Flat out though, despite standing all of 3 feet from the main speaker, I was floored by the wonderful and surreal sounds that Anamanaguchi produces, what with their hacked NES's and Gameboy. It was particularly a trip to hear them do a cover of an especially memorable song. Let me tell you friend, nothing can prepare you for an 8 bit rendition of Weezer's 'Buddy Holly'. Their was a bit of moshing, which is inevitable in these things, but it really wasn't so bad. Sure, people pushed and bashed around, but it was never too hard, and it was a case of controlled chaos; people were going nuts but in a restrained fashion.

In any case, I've said a lot, and I'll let the videos do more talking. I'm in the process up getting them up right now actually. For your own viewing pleasure, here's the first of them, the rest of which can be viewed at my user page on Youtube. Just look up TheBumbleBeaner.